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06/20/2005: "When you don't have a hoity toity Lactation Room"

Upscale employers are getting the picture, that providing a nice private place for employees who breastfeed to use their breast pumps, makes life easier and helps with employee retention. But what if you don't work for an upscale employer? What if you work in a small place of business that isn't office based, or that doesn't have a spare office to convert, or is a cubicle environment? How would you find an outlet with privacy for your breast pump then?

Ahhh, go to a battery model you say?

Well, then there is the issue of motor noise. If you're not real careful, as in ripping it out of the package and turning it on before you drop a chunk of change on it, you might just find when you get it home that you've just bought yourself a buzz saw with a megaphone on it. And you wanted privacy? You see, you weren't supposed to know about this before you took it home! (And unless they malfunction, breast pumps are generally not returnable.)

Epinions.com used to run a commercial of its own reviews. They had one of a woman reviewing a hand-held motorized battery breast pump. She spoke as she ran it, and it was so loud you could hardly hear her speaking. It was hilarious, with the pizza guy at the door, and the cat trying to lap any drops that might befall it. Epinion's point was that regular folks "like you" do their reviews for them, but I can tell you that that particular bit of campaign levity didn't last long. It was yanked offline real fast. Why? I don't really know, but I'd be willing to bet money that the manufacturer of that particular breast pump shook some legal sabers at them. If prospective customers for that product knew how loud it was, they sure wouldn't be prospective customers very long! What does the manufacturer care if you have to go out and buy yet another breast pump to solve the noise problem? Heh heh heh, I bet they do care, but not the way you think.

So we're back to solving the problem of privacy while using a breast pump at work.

Well, there are manual pumps out there too. Some are nicer than others, and some are much nicer than others. Some require two hands to operate to pump one breast. Some use the same hand to both squeeze the pump lever and hold the pump in place. Kinda awkward, but at least you can eat your sandwich. But not one of these manual pumps will pump both breasts at once for you.

Suppose you had a virtually silent breast pump, one that didn't require any electrical outlet or batteries at all, one that you could use anywhere you'd likely not be disturbed, even in the storage room? What if you could double pump with this wonder, to get done in half the time? What if it was compatible with the tubing set you plug into on your big-brand-name heavy-duty sewing-machine-sized table-top rented breast pump at home, no matter what big-brand-name it was? (Shhhhh.... What if you discovered you could stop paying rent on that behemoth?)

Well, it just so happens such an answer exists. BreastPump Mama's Universal Breast Pump Pedal has all these features, plus it improves on the machines because you have complete control over the suction strength and rhythm speed. And it's as light as a feather. Well, ok, 1 lb. with the shipping box.

So simple. So clever. It was developed by a working breastfeeding mom who wanted one very badly. May it serve you well too. Check it out!

All the Breast,